first post after nearly a decade

wowww!!! phewww!! phuuuuuhhhhhh!!!!

it s been nearly a decade!!! soory too much exaggeration hehhe.  the truth is, life is full of ups and downs. we just have to keep going and never look back. have i achieved my 6 years plan? not so sure.. cos ive actually forgotten it!!!!! hahahahhahahahahaha!!

i always find ambitious and successful man sexy

alhamdulillah, ive completed my Masters degree and im totally happy with the result. and im also happy with my research.

but im still here. at the same place. same place physically and emotionally. im still with the same college. i used to think that i wanna go somewhere else after my Masters but im still here! the only thing that i think can bring me further is my research. i really2 hope ill get accepted for the conference in Jakarta. im still working on it. its my first time, so im kina confuse. not sure of what i should do. not sure if its right or wrong. maybe i think too much and put a high hope on it. that's why i cant start even a word on the abstract!!!arghhh!! this is stressful! and i have lotsa assignments to mark plus new subjects syllabus to work on. i know that's not my job. i knooowwww i knowwww!! i just cant stand and watch it not being done correctly. maybe my boss is correct when he said im not much of a person who's good in teaching. im just good in organizing things. maybe i should just take up the job i had in hand before. something i reallyyyyy love to do!!!!! but come to think of it, why do we plan our life? when at one point we choose other route instead?

im still at the same emotion state. i m just too afraid of changes maybe. but i know what i want. maybe im too frighten that i may end up alone. thinking about ***** makes me miserable. i dont want to feel miserable. i managed to stop thinking about this person for couple of months. but when i started thinking about ***** again, it got me back to my miserable state of mind. ***** made me feel inferior. and my self esteem goes down whenever i think about *****. it made me think that only achievements can bring back my self esteem so i wont feel inferior when im with *****, in other words, its good! it drives me to achieve more and more. well i always find ambitious and successful ppl sexy! however, first thing first!

syurga cinta

i watched this movie starring Awal Shaari last month on astro. or tv3, i dont remember. its about Awal who did not practice a real muslim life. he parties almost everyday. basically Awal and his family dah too western. drink and get drunk most of the times. nway Awal met this young malay girl, a teacher kat skola adik dia. his frens bet with him that he will not be able to make the teacher to fall in love with him in a month. so he took the bet. within 1 month of the getting-to-know process, he fell in love. and after 1 month dia ajak that girl and dia and his frens gelakkan the girl for her foolishness. so the girl was very frustrated. Awal loved the girl so much but he's too coward to admit it. he went to see the girl's grandfather. and the grandfather gave him a piece of advice

kalau bercinta dan membuat dosa dan berkahwin, it is jodoh dari syaitan

dapat berkahwin dgn menggunakan sihir, it is jodoh dari jin

kalau berkawan dgn ikhlas dan berkahwin, it is jodoh dari allah. itulah namanya syurga cinta and jodoh kekal sampai bila2..

i can't stop thinking about it till now. i want the 3rd jodoh. jodoh dari Allah. which i havent found yet. i know i like someone but, i dunno how things are gonna end. but i hope he is the right jodoh for me. i know my family will like him and things feel so right.

bengang bengang bengang

bengang bengang bengang..

i dont understand why a Master student (well 3 of them worked on it together) can't come up with a simple market research. questions berterabur masuk salah category. tak masuk lagi soalan yg salah. my diploma students can do better than them. nak betolkan blk, sakit hati tgk. mcm baik i buat sendiri je semua ye dak?? byk gila corrections ni. aduhhhhh.. pening2...

tuesday blues..

i woke up late today. sgt malas pada hari ini.. i wish i could stay asleep at home :(

it's been a while..

it's been a while since i last blogged. yup, blame my laziness. i do have a lappy, i do have 247 internet access or at least at the office. i was just lazy. and since jan 2010, a lot of things have happened.

1. i've been teaching for almost a year now..

at a college in PJ (note: i love PJ!!) it is not something i ever dreamed of when i was small. i always wanted to be something much bigger than what i've been doing, and do. i guess things don't always go as planned. "kita hanya merancang, Tuhan menentukan". but im glad i took the job earlier this year as I'm happy with what I'm doing now. everything seems clearer now. of course, there are times when i feel like this job is no fun, that i should ve taken up my dream job which was offered to me few months back. i know i would be enjoying every single moment if i took up the job. but i have to stick to the ground as i've set my goals and plan. so i have to stick to the plan. anyway, i love my new job! i love my new colleagues! and i love my students! ( and i love the times i get to get away from work !)

2. im going to finish my Master degree soon!!

darn! im getting lazier day by day. help me!! im so not gonna grad if i dont stop being lazy. im just blur now.. i wanna do it. 3 mths holiday has turned me into the opposite me. i miss those busy days.. when i didnt go out at all! my whole life was work , study, work, study...

3. i have cats!!!

i had 2 cats in the first place, they are nyiaunyiau and john johnny jonathan. johnny is my cat, nyianyiau is kambing's cat. 2 months later i adopted lily. few months after that, baby took adopted nyiaunyiau. and on 1st muharram, i was officially the owner of 8 cats after lily gave birth to 6 baby cats. 6 BABY CATSSS!!!! OMG i have lotsa cats nowwwww!!!!!!!!

4. bff got a boy!

yatoq delivered a healthy babyboy in june. his name is Ady Rifqy.

2010 has arrived!

obviously 2010 has arrived. it's january 4th today.
alhamdulillah, 2010's finally here with good news
1. starting new career
2. opps .. getting new brother in law ( sister getting married la .. she finally made up her mind )
3. sabah here i come!! holiday is also a good start i guesss.. eventhough tht means bln ni pokai
4. __________________ pls fill in the blank

i went to *** today, had to go few places before i get to settle my stuff. while i was trying to figure how the hell was i going to get my car out of there, cos there's only entrance to tht car park.. but no way out. bumped into this indian uncle who parked just next to me ( he just bought his toyota prius, nice.. wtj **** ) i asked him the way out of tht place, he asked me to follow him, he also admitted, that car park is confusing him too. we had little chat. then i went to the sgs. saw him there again! then he went out of there,, guess his prob is settle. unlike me, i had to wait nearly half an hour there. nearly fell asleep. when it comes to my turn.. while waiting for the lady to key in my name in the computer, that uncle appeared again, just next to me. uiks.. what a small world. and he's doing the same thing as me, registration. but he looks too old for that i guess. " eh we keep on bumping into each other la today ! " i just smiled at him..

anyway, i managed to settle my stuff today and im happy cos im going to start my hectic life tomorrow. ni pon seronok ? * sigh * then i did someshopping . beli buku baru!! excited kan?
hehehhee

a boring monday nite

its a not so ok raya this raya. so so.. but i had great time spending my 10 days of annual leave. lazying at home. still on holiday today. esok dah starrt keje tp malasnye nak gi keje esok. bole tak nak mc?? mmg food poisoning ni tak baik2 lagi.. evershince the 3rd day of raya. stopped at every petrol station and rnr membuang. aduhhh sakit betol perot.. siap demam2 pening kepaala mase tuh. dahla otw blk kl. teruk kan?

after tuh gi mlk dgn ren and baby. we went to the zoo. had fun there. zoo mlk has a lot of tigers, suprisingly. last time i went to national zoo they have like 2 or3 tigers only and sume dah tua2 pulak tuh.. tp kat zoo melaka ni gagah berani betol semua. baby suka betol tgk tigers and lion kejap2 dok aumm aummm hahahaha!! we stayed a nite in mlk and went back to kl on friday.

on saturday kemas2 rumah.. sunday.. erm..tido.. today.. nak gi servis kete tp tk dpt. queue ramai.. tambah lagi nak kene tuka sparepart tuh . dahtuh.. dia kata 3,4 jam gak amik masa.. tk sempat sbb smpai sana dah kol 1. so dia suh gi blk next week. hmm.. terpaksa la bgn awal2 pg next week. kambing keje hari ni. and i miss kambing today.. my teddy bear

all about women.. its quite true though..

taken from yahoo

What went wrong? Whether it’s a first date or a long-term relationship, when it comes to women here are five reasons she’s just not that into you.

You don’t have Ambition

It sounds simple but it’s often overlooked: women are attracted to men with ambition. Perhaps it’s a survival technique, a woman wants a man who’s going to be able to take care of himself, let alone a family. Or perhaps it’s just really attractive for a potential partner to have goals, dreams and aspirations. It’s not about having money, you can be wealthy and still lack ambition, it’s about having drive and looking forward and toward the future. Start volunteering, go back to school, set goals for yourself and have something to look forward to everyday—a purpose.

You don’t Follow Through

Whether you don’t know how to make plans or you just don’t know how to stick to them, a woman hates having to make an excuse for her partner. If you’re constantly nixing dinner plans at the last minute or showing up late for date night, she’s not going to be into you. Think about it the next time you’re hours overdue with no good reason at all. Chances are, she rushed home from work, rifled through her closet to find the perfect outfit, and stressed that she wouldn’t be finished blow-drying her hair in time for your knock on the door. So when you show up two-hours late, with no preemptive phone call, she’s going to be mad. But when you do it consistently, she’s going to move on.

You Give her too Much or too little Attention

It’s like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, its got to be just right. Meeting at a friend’s house party is not a date. Inviting her to dinner and then inviting your old fraternity brothers also is not a date. If you care more about your "bromance" than your romance, it will show and she’ll know. A woman wants to feel special, take her out on a real date, turn the cell phone off and make her feel like she’s the only person that matters. Conversely, if you’re the type of guy who hates it when she wants a girl’s night out, or you don’t give her any breathing room, she’s going to feel suffocated in the relationship and she’s just not going to be into you.

You’re just not her Type

Yes, all women have a type. These aren’t necessarily physical looks but innate personality traits. That doesn’t mean she’ll only date one type of man for the rest of her life but it’s rare that at the same time a woman is attracted to the family man who likes spending nights in watching reruns, she’ll also be attracted to the single-until-he-dies night owl, who’s idea of a good meal is any 24-hour restaurant. If you’re not the type for her at the stage in her life, she’s just not that into you.

You don’t see her as an Equal

A woman wants a relationship where she is an equal—and feels like one. The best relationships embrace each partner’s strengths, and each person complements the other. It’s clear to see: she just won’t be that into you if you’re constantly trying to one up her.

im a rooster

I was browsing tru the star online .. as usual. and found this article. i do hope they're true hahahaha eventhough muslims arent supposed to believe in this kina thing.

Rooster

Opportunities await you this year. You should have good luck in career, romance and wealth. But you also have some unlucky stars.

Career: With three big lucky stars smiling on you, you should make significant progress in your career. You need not go out of your way to look for opportunities as they will come to you. If you do your best, you’ll achieve success. The Rooster loves luxury and works hard to procure a better life. A significant amount of money could come your way this year, perhaps an unexpected inheritance.

Love life: The married Rooster will enjoy a wonderful family life. The single Rooster should prepare to begin a new relationship. It’s a nice time for Roosters to get married and have a baby.

Health: If pregnant, the female Rooster must tread carefully. The male Rooster may have liver problems, so watch your health.

Take note: Talk less, work more.

=) talk less.. work more? i wanna do something that requires talking and less sitting in front of the computer working..

my last day at work

yes, today is my last day at work. my gossip colleague takde hari ni pegi interview. so sad to spend the last day at work alone sambil tunggu file transfer ni gila lama aahh!! nak burn lg ni. gaji pon tak dpt lagi.. harap2 dpt cepat ler..

at the moment i have a lot of things in my mind. I have a lot of targets with timeframes and plans on how to achieve all the targets. but at the same time, kene fikir gak what are my priorities. priority no 1, priority no 2.. n so on.. but i guess 2009 is gonna be a challenging year for me. dah tua kot.. tuh yg byk fikir tuh. i just hope that everything will go well as planned. even if something else came up, hope they're the good ones..

me... bored

unfortunately, i always in the mood for blogging whenever im bored. but actually, i have a lot of work to do at home. but currently im not at home. doing some preparation for the interviews tomorrow. damn the recession! wish me luck peeps!

dahla rasa mcm nak demammm jer ni tetiba. mcm mana nak gi interview esok ni?
i still have my fyp to be submitted on tuesday. after that i'll be free like a birdie.. ye ke? and some things that need to be sorted out. relationship? marriage? at the moment, takde masanak fikir tuh. letak tepi dulu. takde keje ni.. kene pk cari keje dulu. love should be the last thing in our mind. love come and go. we'll jump into few ( or maybe more ) relationships before we decide to step into marriage life. it;s not easy to find the right person to share our life with. been there, done that. and not gonna repeat the same mistake again. if u ever have doubt, probably they're not the right person. in marriage matter, rationale thinking is important. its like making the right decision in our career or choosing our path. we dont simply follow our heart 100%. my little advice goes to my very dear fren. don't put love on top of ur list. they'll come eventually along the way. there's so much things to explore out there. the world is so big and we're so little. there are billions of ppl out there and u haven't really get to know each of them.

new year resolution

2009 is only a couple of days way.. yet some of us have already made plans for the whole year. i've also made my own plans.
my new year's resolution -

1. buy new car.. cheap saja.. takde duit :)
2. save money byk2
3. ****** ( rahsia )
4. ****** ( rahsia )
5. get a vacum cleaner for me to clean the whole house
6. get a cat??
7. be a better person

merry x mas part 2

yes, merry xmas again!

it's xmas and tv ni takde tayang cerita bes malam2 ni. pelik betul. siang tadi ada la cerita bes. dah malam ni tak ada pulak. suruh org tido, i guess. and me alone at home having cherry berry.. terrible betolla. i have a lot of dvds that i havent watched. but currently not in the mood for dvd. i was chatting with my old fren, we were talking bout food. haihhh... nak makan rotiboy plakk lama tak makan.. and dominoss.. and jco.. terok ahh!!

merry xmas!!

sad xmas this year..
1 . dahla takde cuti panjang mcm thn lepas ..
2 . gaji belom masuk..
3 . bonus intai2 pon tak ada gak nih.
4 . kambing plak as usual, holiday eve ginih keje la dia.
5 . geng gossip plak blk kampung! arghh minggu yg sangap betol tak dpt gossip nih.
6 . xmas eve nih takde plan plak tuh! sape nak go lepak jom!
7 . keje lom siap :(
8 . teringin nak makan dominos...

i'm tagged!!

Tagging Game

THREE NAMES THAT FRIEND CALL YOU
didi
rabby
r*****


THREE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE
081081 - my birthday
230705 - baby's birthday
110579 - kambing's birthday


THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY
shopping hehehehe
do something with kambing n frens
holiday


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AS OF NOW
deeper conversation - yuna
casablanca
bau - warkah


THREE PERSON YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST
my ex bf
she used to be my good fren - antot
fila (beb!! bila ko habis cuti ni.. bosan gila la tak bergosippp)


THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE
a brand new 4 mil bungalow - sapela org kaya nak bagi ni..
new bmw 1 serie - i'm pretty simple
unlimited cash??


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
watching tv
movies
sleep


THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION
europe
LA
bandung :)


THREE FAVORITE CARTOON/ANIME CHARACTER
im not into cartoon or anime :)


THREE MALLS YOU USUALLY GO TO
tesco
sunway pyramid
ioi


THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
murni's special mango juice
orange juice
milo ais


THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR BAG
handphone
keys
cards


THREE FAVORITE COLOURS
pink
purple
brown


TOP THREE FOODS YOU LOVE SO MUCH
unagi kabayaki
smoked salmon
ikan bakar


TOP THREE 'THINGS' SPECIAL TO YOU
my new tv :)
my phone ? ( dah buruk dah phone... takde org nak sponsor ker)
all my pillows


TOP THREE ATTITUDES YOU LIKE
humour
responsible
smart


TOP THREE FACES YOU LIKE
deanna yusof
tom cruise
baby


THREE THINGS YOU'LL BE DOING TOMORROW
work
work
lepak - it's xmas! jom lepak


TOP THREE WHY YOU ARE BUSY AT THIS TIME
some things
some things
some things

I'M TAGGING:
fila
bzz
nana

aidiladha 2008

hari raya again.. this time raya haji with my baby. despite of the 3 hrs stuck in the car in gua musang, due to massive traffic jam ( caused by the landslide ) we had so much fun going home for raya. but unfortunately i didnt get to do my project cos i couldnt find the video camera. argh.. solittle time left.4 weeks to go! before the final presentation. makin dekat time nak final presentation ni.. makin takut.. makin cuak.. yet.. makin happy gak.. cos makin dekat nak grad :) yay!!! tapi at the same time.. umur makin meningkat satu tahun lagi jugak!!! hujung2 thn ni, mcm2 la benda nak pk. kawen? tiba2 jer topic tuh keluar. salunyer, kawen tuh bkn topic yg bes nak pk. tak terasa nak pk pon.. at least for the next 2 yrs? 3 yrs? tp tetiba ter pk pasal kawen. sbb umur dh makin tua ke? atau.. sbb in a few wks, im gonna be free? free kebendenyer.. at least tak kene bebel dah kot. hahahahaha.. abah ckp dah grad kang bole pakai apa saja. hahahahahha!!

kawen is a sensitive topic, yet interesting. tipula kalau seminggu takde cite topik kawen ni dgn kawan2 seperjuangan. being an exstudent of one of the top girls boarding school, our mind has been set yg we're all cream of the cream.. we're all the best in our league. therefore we should get the best.. including the best partner. so some of us set a high standard for their partner to be. even me! but at the end of the day , the person i ended up with didnt even reach 60% of the standard i set. some parents dorang sendiri set the standard for their children's spouses. tp sebenarnye mana yg penting.. ikot hati atau to be rational.. is it my fault if i fall for someone yg tak reach even 50% of the standard i set. or maybe.. universal standard??

hari raya aidilfitri 2008

2008 aidilfitri didn't go well like aidilfitri i had before. raya without my baby. and kene cirit birit on the first day of raya. itula beraya tak ingat dunia. semua rumah mkn nasi minyak. sudahnya smpai hr ahad doksakit perot. aduhhhh.. act today baca online the star. found this great article by dina zaman. thot she's still with tv3.. paste sinije ek article tuh

Why do men take second wives?

A WRITER'S LIFE
By DINA ZAMAN

Polygamy has nothing to do with culture or religion. Men, and women too, cheat because they can.

WHEN a male friend told me he planned on taking a second wife, all I could do was try not to choke on dinner. Are you serious, I asked. He said yes, he had fallen in love with a single mother, but it was not his fate to marry her.

Thinking it was perhaps due her compassion, her earnest desire to bring up her sprogs in a Godly way and that life was indeed a struggle, I choked on my dessert when my friend told me the first thing he noticed about her was that she owned a great set of jugs.

Now, my friend takes his religious obligations very seriously. His first wife wears the hijab. So to hear him admit that it was his paramour’s cleavage that caught his heart was quite shocking.

It was due to women like me, whose so-called Western, secular and feminist ideas of polygamy that pushed it underground. I then asked him, whether his equally-pious wife agreed to him taking on another wife, and he said no. She gave him an earful.

But our friend was on a roll. Now that his journey into polygamy was thwarted, it was all our fault. We modern Malay women, be they religious or not, were forcing men like him to marry in Thailand or Iran, where they practised nikah Muta’ah.

He was emulating the steps of our good Prophet Mohamed, he argued.

“You have got your Islamic history upside down! Nabi married war widows, and his first wife was older than he. Aishah was the youngest. And I don’t think our Prophet married any woman because she had great breasts!”

“You don’t understand.”

“Okay then. Why don’t you sell your car and take a camel to work then?”

I’m realistic. I know men who adore their wives and love them to bits, but they can still love their mistresses and other wives. Am I condoning affairs and polygamy? No. But this happens. It has nothing to do with Islam or being Malay, though polygamy is part of the culture.

We’re Asians. We have a long history of concubinage. There are good men who are faithful, and there are good men who have other wives. There are also bad men who are faithful and also bad men who are unfaithful.

Just like our politics, love in Malaysia is a circus. Weeee!

I’m not going to bore you with what polygamy in Islam is about, as it has been written before and talked about to death. Women’s rights activists have long fought for this “crime” to be illegal, but we face a tough fight. Sometimes it’s not the men who are itching for it, but yes, our gender, too.

In the 80s, when I was young and clueless, meeting mistresses and second or third wives would be sinful and against my principles.

These days? “Oh, you’re a mistress?” “Oh, you’re a hidden wife?” Yawn. Wear tudung or mini skirt, got. Educated or stupid, got. Some of our mothers are The Other Women, and are good mothers. So how?

Is this phenomenon particular to our culture? Oh no. Read the British newspapers. Mistressing is talked about to death in feminist columns.

But I thought after that dinner with my friend, I’d revisit the issue again. Some of the findings from my five-sen survey:

> Theoretically ... polygamy is OK. But must ikut hukum Allah lah. There are conditions.

> Ya, but… actually, kan, for career women like us, it does work. Nak jaga laki 24 jam … gue tak larat la. Biar bini nombor satu jaga. After all, in Islam, polygamous wives are taken care of legally. Better a Muslim second wife than a common law wife.

> But really. Think about it. Convenient, what. You see him once a week, makan once a week, have sex once a week...

> Sex once a week?! Baik tak yah jadi bini nombor dua macam tu! Chit. Once a week mana cukup?!

Why do men cheat? Again, just an observation dwelled upon by friends and myself. For a lot of polygamous men, they marry good women who fit their criteria of holiness, wifeliness and motherhood.

Intimacy between the men and their wives are perfunctory. It’s make-the-baby-cover-the-face sex. With their girlfriends and second wives, it’s Penthouse all the way, baby. It’s the soul thing.

At least this is what I got from talking to quite a number of married men. It’s not because of the first wives’ lack of trying; they want to have healthy intimate lives, but the bees in their husbands’s bonnets keep reminding the men of the Madonna-Whore syndrome.

Malaysia is not a place for single women desiring Hollywood-movie type of marriages and love. KL especially is a city for marriages and affairs. And it has nothing to do with money. There are rich men who cheat, and I know of a despatch boy who has two wives!

There are many single-again women like my friends and I, who still believe in marriage and love. But I can tell you, should we walk down that path again one day, we’re going down it with our eyes open and keep a part of our hearts to ourselves. Because you never know.

Perhaps my friend, an activist who makes a living entering and staying in war zones, is right.

“We have women like you, me, your mother, your aunt and friend who fight so hard for women and children and yet face a brick wall, simply because we ‘understand’ so much, and forgive all the time, which is why cheating, affairs and polygamy are rampant, to the detriment or contribution (depends how you look at it) of our well-being,” says my friend.

Another friend, Sharizal Sharaani, put it succinctly: “Men (and, yes, women too) cheat because they can. Full stop.”

The writer still believes in love and marriage and wants to move to Corfu

anyway, sgt menarik article tuh. and im also against polygamy.

my birthday!

tomorrow is my birthday.

daging dendeng!! nasi lemak!! rojak singapore !!

yayy!! telah mendapat resepi baru. daging dendeng.. uuu sgt enak sekali.. tak sabar nak test buat. teringat masa kat sekolah dulu2. lauk fevret semua org ialah daging dendeng. pulaktuh dining hall nyer resepi nih, tere betul org yg nyusunnya. daging dendeng dgn lauk kubis masak lemak.. huuu sedap betol la kan tuh. kalau hari lauk daging dendeng tuh konpem semua org serbu awal2 dining hall tuh takut lauk habis. tp kalau ikan jeket?? haih.. berapa kerat je nampak muka. lama gila tak mkn daging dendeng. 10thn dah!! nasi lemak pon sama hot item kat dining hall dulu. hari sabtu bole bgn seawal 6 pagi? 7 pagi? semata mata kerana nasi lemak tu. kalau gi awal bole amik sambal lebih,ikan bilis lebih, termasukla telur lebih. pulak tuh, boleh dpt nasi lemak yg part santan lemak2 dia bykkkkk tuh.. uihh menyelerakan betol lah. padanla budak2 sume gemok je zmn2 tuu.

rojak singapore

ni satu lagi fevret kat skola dulu. kat kantin every saturday evening. kene gi awal kantin tuh, kol 6 ke.. kalau lambat kol 8 gituh mmg penuh dah dgn kanak2 berpusu2 nak beli rojak singapore. tataula apa yg sedapnya. tp mmg ketagih betul. dah lama nak try buat tp tak terpk plak nak cari resepi kat internet. dok tanya org jer kejenyer hahahaha. hr ni br jumpa resepi kat internet nih :D