im trapped!

i used to love my well planned life. ive everything well planned till 5 years ahead. ive stated my plan in my first entry for this blog. tp last2.. tah la.. somebody, a fren came into my life and tell me its not wrong.. i wont get hurt.. my life would be ok. nothings gonna change. and i took him into my life.. and i treated him so good. that noone would ever believe that i never loved him. i asked him to give me some time.. from time to time he asked me wether i love him or not.. i said im sorry, no.. it takes time.. but what i never realized is that.. i dah sayang dia! lama.. maybe i was just too afraid to admit it.. cos i dont want to get hurt.. but recently i kept telling him that i love him now. he said, he doesnt love me the way he used to nmore. bole ke mcm tuh? and im hurt.. badly hurt inside.. that i can't handle this pain. how am igonna live? gonna study.. work? for the upcoming months?? does he ever know what he has done to my heart? to my life? to my future? to my plan? does he ever think of that before? i told him many times.. he wouldnt listen. and now he keeps on avoiding me.. never return my call nmore.. rarely sms me.. yes even a dumb person would notice the changes. i wish i never knew him in the beginning..