happiness

today i woke up early. at 9! eventho i slept at 4.30 still bangun awal! crazy la niii. tiba2 terfikir. am i happy? am i actually happy? am i pretending to be happy? or am i doing things that's not making myself happy? what do i really want? what's happines is all about? i dont know. i know what i really want. but i pretend as if i never wanted it. aagain.. am i a good pretender ? maybe i dah sampai to tht extent yg i can pretend without being noticed yg i tgh pretend! but sometimes i don't!! act i tak pretend tp i ckp i pretend! apekah itu? fren told me, i have this ego. ya kah!! i thot im not that person. but maybe i am hahaha. tp takpela apa nak buat. i'm fine. i know i can live throughout this misery inside me. apekah merepek2 ni.. mmg mamai baru bangun tido nih!!!
happy weekend!!